LawDawg2010's Weblog

Moment of Truth

lawdawg2010 — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 03:41:42 +0000

This is the name of a rather popular television show on Fox. I am very intrigued by the questions that are posed to the contestants as well as the reactions of the family members in attendance. Well, it appears that I had my moment of truth recently.

Let me preface this by saying that I made it a point when I came to law school to focus on my studying. During the course of this endeavor, I met a young lady but did not pursue her at all. We did become friends and I had casual conversations with her on a daily basis. I did have the opportunity to hang out with her a few times but the “relationship” ended abruptly. She told me that we could not pursue anything further because she had to focus on preparing for a licensing examination. I definitely understood her plight and did not press the issue so I decided to “fall back.” Let me clarify, I stopped hanging out and speaking to her as much because I didn’t want the expectations to change or become ambiguous.

After this change in circumstances, I resumed my routine of studying and socializing with my colleagues. Well, during this time my interest peaked in another woman, but once again I did not pursue. As stated previously, I wanted to remain grounded in my work and did not want to force anything. I began to get acquainted with her a little bit more and began spending more time with her as well. This situation differs from the first in that feelings were expressly made in the previous situation. Here, there were no explicit statements, just a bunch of implications. I guess we had some sort of chemistry and enjoyed spending time talking on the phone to each other, sometimes going into the late hours of the night.

Now that I have laid the foundation, here is where the situation went wrong. Apparently, the young lady in the first situation told the young lady in the second situation about my interactions with her. As a result, the status quo has changed. I have not had a meaningful conversation with her in several days and am actually quite miserable about it. I can’t believe that this has happened. But then again, I think I gave them too much credit. I expected more maturity but did not get it. This “he-said, she said” is completely unnecessary. Especially since I didn’t do anything wrong. I understand that they are friends but if one person turns me down does that automatically exclude me from the other. I suppose so.

I guess this is what I get for telling the truth. I didn’t try to hide anything at all. If she doesn’t want to be with me after I have told the truth then there is really nothing else to discuss. I would rather have no relationship at all then to try to slant the truth in my favor just to be involved with someone.

In the Spirit of Competition

lawdawg2010 — Mon, 14 Jan 2008 04:57:22 +0000

Well…I am back in school and you know what that means. It means that it is time to get back on the grind. As I finished my first week I found it interesting that the complexion of the school has changed. It at least appears that way. I think it may have something to do with the release of the grades from last semester. All of sudden it appears that people are on edge as this semester will prove to be the most challenging to date. It seems as though that friends have now turned into rivals as some study groups have now disbanded. I understand why some of this has occurred. At the beginning of the year, the idea of working in groups was so heavily promoted that it was almost a requirement. At that point the dash to form groups began. The most interesting part of it was evolution of the groups as the year progressed. I guess the first check point was mid-term examinations. Well, mid-terms are nothing compared to finals and this is definitely proof of that notion. I am grateful to make it out of the first semester all in one piece. Now, if I can only figure out how to balance my social life with all of this stuff.

I hope all of this competition does not pollute what could be a wonderful semester.

Silencing the Voice of Tomorrow

lawdawg2010 — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 07:26:28 +0000

I never quite understood why some parents never allowed their children to discuss issues with them. I understand that being raised in a household where you are supposed to do as your told (“capital punishment”), there was no room for discussion. However, I believe that once children reach a certain age that they should be allowed to discuss things with their parents. I am not certain what age would be appropriate but I think it should be done. I think this allows for the development of reasoning skills and opens the lines of communication between child and parent. If a child is constantly told to shut up and do as they are told there is a terrible message that is being delivered.

Lesson 1: What you think does not matter. If a child is conditioned to just act and not think, at what point do they develop their reasoning skills. I have not done extensive research but I believe that there are test scores that show the reasoning skills of African Americans as compared to their counterparts is not on par. With respect to the life at home, it can cause tension and probably rebellion by the child.

Lesson 2: I cannot speak for myself. If a child does not learn to speak for himself that will prove detrimental to their development in other parts of their life. It is possible that “negative reinforcement” can help a present situation but stunt the growth of the child. Consider the fact that there are many adults that continue to rely on their parents because the parents continued to act as their source of reason.

I am not against a strict household, but I am against parents using their position as a reason for doing things. “I am the parent listen to me.” What is that? We are all human beings with imperfections and can learn from each other. A child by nature is supposed to learn from their parents. Isn’t it also possible that a parent can learn from a child? Just because you have been on the Earth longer does not mean you have learned all there is to learn. Moreover, a child is a completely different person and sees the world in a different light, so they can bring a fresh perspective on life.

New Life and New Beginnings

lawdawg2010 — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 07:09:55 +0000

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to see a newborn baby up close for the first time. It struck me at the innocence of a child and how precious life really is. At the time I saw the child he was only 6 hours old. Needless to say, his concept of the world was extremely limited at that point. On a personal note, I was a little apprehensive to hold such a delicate being but was satisfied just to be a part of such a joyous occasion. It made me think of how sometimes I take life for granted and just assume things are supposed to be a certain way.

Interestingly enough this morning I encountered a car accident that made me think about this notion even more. I was on my way home and noticed a car was overturned on a dark winding road. I assisted a few bystanders and the lady that was trapped in the vehicle received the appropriate medical attention. Perhaps the most revealing experience occurred while I was observing the paramedics attend to the injured individual. I realized that life is precious and that we should not take it for granted. Despite that as Christians we are awaiting eternal life in Heaven, we still should take care of the life that God has given us.

New Year…Same Challenges?

lawdawg2010 — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 18:46:26 +0000

It is amazing that every year seemingly begins with new hopes and possibilities that were better than the last. For 2008, I have decided not to make any “New Year’s Resolutions” per se. I keep getting faced with some of the same things of the previous year. Which leads me to believe that I have not learned the lessons that I was supposed to learn. I am beginning to understand that the obstacles themselves do not change a whole lot, but the real test is how I respond. I am blessed to have the opportunity to see another year. At the same time I understand that some of what I saw in 2007 will undoubtedly appear again in some form in 2008.

At some point, I will have to stop trying to conquer this stuff on my own. If I do not get this right now, it will be costly later on.

The Remedy:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. — Proverbs 3:5-6

“Pursuit of Perfection”

lawdawg2010 — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 05:39:00 +0000

At the time I am writing this the New England Patriots have just attained a record of 16-0. This marks the first time a NFL team has gone undefeated in the regular season since the 1972 Miami Dolphins (record 14-0). For several weeks, the media has made a big deal out of the possibilities of accomplishing such a feat. I started thinking to myself about how often do I strive for perfection. I know that I am not perfect, far from it. But, does that mean I should stop striving for perfection? If you continue to strive perfection wouldn’t you at least end up being great at whatever it is you are doing. I was especially intrigued by the manner in which New England practices. There is at least one portion of the practice in which the head coach Bill Belichick drills the captain of the defense to call specific plays depending on the situation. I think this helps because the team is preparing for possibilities and not what is “definitely” going to happen. During the course of a football game, there are things that may occur which the team may not have been prepared for. By training his team to think ahead for the various permutations of a formation of a play, I believe that this served them well and allowed them to win all of there games.

Honestly, there are situations in life that I am not prepared for. I don’t consider myself a perfectionist but I am a little hard on myself if I do not perform up to my expectations. There have been many projects and exams that I did not get the grade that I expected, but I did not let that stop me. During the game, New England faced the largest deficit of the season but they maintained their composure and eventually won the game. In the past, I really did not like working under pressure or being under pressure. However, I had to learn to cope with pressure and elevate my performance.

I suppose the lesson that I can take away from this that will help me this semester is to strive for perfection. I should strive to outperform myself and not against my classmates. Ultimately, I am training myself to become a good attorney and my mastery of the law is important.

I know that there is no perfect person walking the face of the Earth. I have often used that as an excuse for many of the decisions that I made. I figured that was a good reason for me not to do what I was supposed to do. In retrospect, it was weak and showed a lack of maturity on my part. Although perfection is impossible, it is the pursuit of it which makes us like Christ (Christians).

Habit Breaker

lawdawg2010 — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 07:31:04 +0000

There is an old adage, well at least as I understand it: “it takes a habit to break a habit.” There are many different habits that people struggle with from thumb-sucking to tapping their foot. For some strange reason this (breaking a habit) sounds simpler than it really is. I guess the first step is to admit that you have a habit because most of the time it will not be pointed out by other individuals. Alright…here it goes…I have a habit. What is my habit you might ask? I have a habit when it comes to women. I struggle with pride sometimes and this is the central problem that I have when it comes to the attention that I get. My habit is playing with temptation. I have been in denial for a long time that I flirt.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not out to use anyone but this may occur in the process of me feeding my pride. I have to find some way to starve this “beast” before it continues to grow even more. I believe that this is the source of many of my issues that occur in dealing with women. Question: When will I be completely satisfied with the attention that I am receiving from women? Answer: Never. It is a cycle. As long as there are women in existence, there will be more that will attract me. Unfortunately, if I do not get this issue addressed now it will certainly plague me in the future.

Buffet vs. Entree

It is the “buffet” vs. “entree” argument. When you go to a restaurant that has a buffet everything is laid out for you. The problem is that you do not know how long that food has been left out. So, when you go to get your food from the buffet you see that you have many choices. Unfortunately, the buffet is for everyone. On the other hand, there is the “entree.” When you sit down to order an entree you have to wait patiently for it to be prepared. More importantly, the entree was made specifically for the person that ordered it. The best part is that the entree is delivered to you straight from the kitchen. At what point do you stop standing at the buffet line and sit down to order your entree? I think as humans we all have an innate feeling of being desired and wanted by another person. The problem becomes when that desire grows out of control.

Solution

I have to seek God for the answer because it is not a simple one. How do I break this habit? What habit will it take to break this one? I suppose it will take discipline of my eyes, mind, and my heart to break this habit.

Insufficient Funds

lawdawg2010 — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 12:01:21 +0000

A notification for insufficient funds is usually not a good thing. Typically, the funds of that particular account have been exhausted such that it must be brought to the owner’s attention to address immediately. Nowadays, you can get “overdraft protection” whenever those cases may arise. What happens though when the funds are not available at all? How does overdraft protection apply in this case? Well, my case of insufficient funds is a little different. I spent a lot of energy this past semester on studying. As a result, I did not have energy for much else. So if someone wanted to make a “withdrawal” (take some of my time) I did not have anything to give. I guess I needed some more “deposits” in order to properly balance my account. I know that God is the source of my funds and that Jesus helps me when I can not help myself.

The worst case of my “insufficient funds” came at the end of the semester when final exams were rapidly approaching. I understand that my focus was on performing well on the exam, but I literally did not have energy for anything else. There were times when I felt like talking on the phone with my friends as well as just sitting back and watching television. I was so consumed with the exam itself that it was all that I could think about. There were times that I did get a chance to talk to someone other than a law student, and on those occasions it seemed like I was just “going through the motions.” My goal for this semester is to properly balance myself so that my funds do not run low especially at the end of the semester when it is time to cash in.

“I Am Legend”

lawdawg2010 — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 06:02:44 +0000

After watching the Will Smith movie, I started thinking about what it means to be a legend. A legend is a person or thing that inspires others. I won’t critique the movie but I thought about the legacy that I am leaving. I am struggling with the potential monetary rewards and all those possibilities that come with being a lawyer and doing public service. We are all put on Earth for a purpose, which is to do God’s work. The dilemma that exists is leaving a Godly legacy in a secular world.

“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.” – 2 Timothy 2:15

A Little Out of Place

lawdawg2010 — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 00:05:07 +0000

I must admit I am happy to be home from school and am looking forward to the challenges that are forthcoming in the next semester. However, I am quite amazed at how much things have changed since I started school in September until now. There were numerous things that went on from family deaths, pregnancies, marriage proposals, divorces, and many other life-changing events. I understand the world does not stop just because I am in school but to come back to “society” makes me feel a little out of place. I am not accustomed to sitting around and doing nothing after months of what seemed like endless hours of studying. I can’t complain too much because these are the times that are spent with the people that supported me while I was on my grind. These are the times when you find out who your true friends are as they have seemingly endured this process with you. I am still struggling to find out who is in my corner, but I think it will be revealed in due time. I guess the worst thing that I can do with respect to my support system is to battle those who have had my back the entire time.